Thanks, I will insert my own speculum

Thanks, I will insert my own speculum

This is my promise to the Universe. As sterile stirrups glean in harsh fluorescent lights, that is my statement. If they can’t take 30 extra seconds to show me how to put a medical instrument into my own body - then no.

No.

NO. I am walking out and finding someone else.

I did not go through the insanity of a bone marrow transplant to keep my mouth shut in this precious life.

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Letter to Dragon: Our Red Letter Day

Letter to Dragon: Our Red Letter Day

Dearest Dragon,

Recently we had a shining, glorious, red-letter day.* I knew it was going to be glorious from the moment I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed (as Baba would say) in time to hit the erg, do yoga, and meditate before you and your sister burst forth.**

After we bundled your sister off to Flying Deer, I turned to you. “Would you like to start with school lessons or a yoga class before we do the sauna?”

“Yoga!”

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The Tale of Gwyn and the Pips - Part 2

The Tale of Gwyn and the Pips - Part 2

Continued (and refresh) from part 1

The Moon told Gwyn to go off the path. To leave the world of rules and to investigate the unknown.

Gwyn was not sure she was up for this.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

She decided that princesses are born to be challenged and, besides, she was curious.

To find out herself whether the Moon was singing. Where would she even begin?

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Letter to my children: Asking for Permission, Power Dynamics, and Family Visioning

Letter to my children: Asking for Permission, Power Dynamics, and Family Visioning

Dearest Beloveds,

“Momma, I want a play date with B!”

“Okay, I will see what I can do.”

“Momma, can we go to CVS to look for stuffies?”

“You have too many stuffies.”

“What if I used my own money, pleeeeaaase?”

“It’s your money. But remember it is just your Cranky Monster who wants them. You don’t need them.”

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Letter to Bean: Why School?

Letter to Bean: Why School?

“Momma, why can’t I write a summary of How to Train Your Dragon?”

“Because being an educated person in our culture means having a common vocabulary of books that everyone learns in school. Wind in the Willows is one of them.”

“But I want to read my books!”

I can’t believe I am curtailing her reading excitement to reinforce this paradigm.

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Letter to my children: Using your Big Voice

Letter to my children: Using your Big Voice

Dearest Beloveds,

I am so grateful to Conscious Discipline for teaching me the nomenclature around using one’s Big Voice. Our family has been steeped in this soup since Bean was a baby. According to the Conscious Discipline website, “Shubert’s Big Voice teaches the Skill of Assertiveness…and helps with Conflict Resolution, Self-regulation, Active Calming, Self-Control, Emotional Intelligence, Social Emotional Learning, and the School Family.”

Wow, all of those terms arising from the simple teaching of, “I don’t like it when you do XX, please do XX.”

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Letter to my children: Life is Both And

Dearest Beloveds,

According to Oak Meadow, the Hopi Creation story involves a Spider Woman who sings the Song of Creation to bring forth all life. She also puts a soft spot on the top of people’s heads so that they might be able to listen to the Creator. Eventually, people forget the Creator anyway and a great flood is sent to punish the wicked and start over. The few people who are saved in reed boats (thanks to Spider Woman) are brought back to a world where “there are now hardships so people will never forget their dependence on the Divine.”

For the two of you, that is this week’s story. A story we recalled as you two bounced around the room. A story to imagine as we painted onto dripping paper in yellows and blues and reds. A story the Bean summarized into her Main Lesson Book in her cursive. For your mother, it has pierced my soul.

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Pelvic Steaming my way into body acceptance

Pelvic Steaming my way into body acceptance

From Kundalini, I have been taught that trauma lives in the body. That is why certain poses can be so confronting - emotional upheaval leaving the body is as uncomfortable as emotional trauma/stress entering the body. I thought one needed to be screaming internally (our externally, the joys of Zoom muting) with one’s arms/legs shaking in order to reach that level of emotional emancipation - turns out I can get that from steaming my genitals.*

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Homesteading Middles: Fall Cleanup

Homesteading Middles: Fall Cleanup

“I am sorry my beloved, but I can’t play with you, I need to get this done.”

“But WHY?!! I don’t want to do this anymore! This machine is too loud.”

“My dearest Dragon, winter is coming* and we have no choice. We need this wood to stay warm when it gets cold.”

Winter is coming and, like the ant, we must prepare.

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