Letter to my Children: Hanging the Cheerleading Wall, Again

/
Letter to my Children: Hanging the Cheerleading Wall, Again

Dearest Beloveds,

The older I get the more it feels as though life is both a carousel and a huge onion being unpeeled.

We have the yearly carousel: holidays, birthdays, seasons. We plant seeds for winter greenery. Our bees swarm in June. Every year we split and stack and move firewood to burn in the woodstove.

We have the daily carousel. Once Baba said to me plaintively when he was in the throes of dementia, “I thought we just DID the dishes! We need to do them AGAIN?!”

“Yup Dad, every day… sometimes three times a day.”

“Oh.”

And we have the carousel of psychological and spiritual challenges.

Read More

Letter to Bean: The Self-Driven Child and Homework

/
Letter to Bean: The Self-Driven Child and Homework

Dearest Bean,

As the life popsicle of Meme’s brain slowly melts - certain calcified memories persevere. They form the popsicle stick in this metaphor.

One of Meme’s popsicle stick memories is about not being offered the choice to become a serious pianist. Apparently, Meme’s parents were told that Meme had sufficient innate piano ability to become a virtuoso if given the proper instruction. Meme’s parents declined, deciding they wanted her to have a “normal childhood” (whatever the hell that means). Meme did not know this opportunity existed until many many years later.

Even now, she can no longer remember the name of her sister, where she was born, what day it is, but the piano memory? Sharp and intact. “Corinna, I could have been a concert pianist! I would have loved that!! I could have been so good. I love music!”

Read More

Letter to my children: Asking for Permission, Power Dynamics, and Family Visioning

/
Letter to my children: Asking for Permission, Power Dynamics, and Family Visioning

Dearest Beloveds,

“Momma, I want a play date with B!”

“Okay, I will see what I can do.”

“Momma, can we go to CVS to look for stuffies?”

“You have too many stuffies.”

“What if I used my own money, pleeeeaaase?”

“It’s your money. But remember it is just your Cranky Monster who wants them. You don’t need them.”

Read More

Letter to my children: Fear Muscles through Fear

/
Letter to my children: Fear Muscles through Fear

Dearest beloveds,

We talk a lot about the Cranky Monster as a way to start identifying that part of you that identifies with matter. Eckart Tolle, Mary Magdalene, and A Course in Miracles call that part of you the ego. The Consilience Project might call it frontal lobe hijacking. Conscious Discipline might call it your reptile brain. Momma calls mine Busy Bee (so Busy fretting over nothing Busy Busy!!).

Read More

Gnostic encomium for the Mary Magdalene Revealed Retreat

/
Gnostic encomium for the Mary Magdalene Revealed Retreat

Here is my rooftop shout for the world to hear my encomium* for the Mary Magdalene Revealed Retreat held by the glorious Meggan Watterson. Hear me full body shouting like I did the night I merged with God.

As I have mentioned before, it makes me super happy when all of the fingers I am exploring are pointing to the same moon. Though, as I write this, I realize it is true for everyone. We all seek out that which agrees with our beliefs and create self-reinforcing loops to make ourselves feel validated. My huge ballast on this finger pointing to The Good as inside of us, as opposed to external to us, is from my own experience (see the merging above). So I am going to speak from that place, as a Gnostic.**

Read More

Letter to my children: Me Too, Aquarian Age, Self-Swaddling

/
Letter to my children: Me Too, Aquarian Age, Self-Swaddling

My dearest Beloveds,

Recently, a teacher shared with me an amazing way of looking at the world right now - to paraphrase, “Our country has exposed our sexual traumas without a commensurate healing - it is affecting all of us. The trauma lives in our bodies and everyone is triggered.” When she said this, I immediately thought of Tarana Burke, founder of Me Too, and her concerns about unearthing such sexual violence without therapy, without safe spaces, without support.

It feels as though our country is a baby having a meltdown yet no adult is swaddling us close and singing to us - helping us process the pain. Everyone is upset about something. I can’t help but think if it is related to this unprocessed sexual national wounding - especially as so much of the news is being dominated recently by our former president who bragged of being able to “grope women with abandon,” in Brit speak.

Read More

Letter to my children: Ego, The Cranky Monster, and Kundalini

/

Dearest Beloveds,

Four years ago, I wrote about the importance of spending the early morning with The Good (thank you Mary Magdalene)- and not just once in a week, but on a consistent daily basis to keep you anchored to The Good. Then I did the bone marrow transplant and all self care of that nature flew out the window.

Read More