Letters to my children: On puberty and the face that launched a thousand ships
/Bedtime my Beloveds,
An ever changing adventure as you two age and change.
Gone are the days of swaddling, sleep sacks, and noise machines. For the first years of your life bedtime was a one way street. Your father and I dictated when, what, and how long. Now you can both not only turn on your own lights but you are able to leave the bed (and the room) if desired. Bean, you are reading to yourself with your light on after we leave. Dragon, you are sometimes doing the same.
The time post bath is no longer your father and I doling out our choice of stories - we have entered the world of desires, conversation, and queries.
“Read the Silver Chair!”, clamors Dragon.
“No! I want Jack and Annie!”, fires back Bean.
“If you two can’t figure out a book, I will choose one.”
“Fine, Momma.” With just the right amount of affront in the tone.
I exaggerate the aggrieved tone, “fine, Bean,” and both kids laugh
After the story is read, teeth are brushed, mouthwash is gargled, and each child separates to their own rooms for the final routines.
Dragon, your father helps you touch the ceiling 4 times (propelled by jumping on the bed) before he carries you on his back for one last visit to the toilet. I snuggle next to you and you ask me to tell you the story of the Trojan War. Some nights we get in many details (the golden apple choice, Cassandra not being believed when she warned the Trojans not to bring in the Trojan Horse, why Helen is known as the “face that launched a thousand ships”). Some night we just talk about a long war and a horse and an angry king. Sometimes your father goes first, sometimes I go first.
Bean, your father paints your funky toes with medicine and prays with you for good dreams. You take 2 minutes to raid the house to ensure you have new reading material for once we leave. Then I come in to say hello and see if there is anything you want to talk about. Last night this was the conversation.
“Momma, what happens to boys during puberty?”
Holy shit, here we go.
“Well, ahhh. Your brother will start to get hairy like Dada, and his voice will deepen.”
“Will he get that big thing on his neck that Micheal has? Why doesn’t Dada have one of those?”
“Bean, everyone is different. Dada does have one of those - they are called Adam’s apples - but his is not as prominent as Michael’s.”
“What did Dada sound like before his voice got lower?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t know Dada when he was a boy.”
“Anything else, do they bleed like I will?”
“No, they will start ejaculating.”
“What is ejamulting? What does that mean?”
Holy moly, I just said that word.
“Well…it is when the sperm come out of a penis.”
“What do sperm look like?”
“Like tadpoles. Very tiny wee ones.”
A blank face looks back at me.
“Momma is going to find a book with pictures. Would you like that?”
“Yes please.”
Whew. Time to ask for help.
