Letter to my children - our wall of white privilege
/Dearest beloveds, what a glorious time to be alive. I am going to continue the conversation we have been having all week.
On our wall we have framed pieces of lace from Great-Grandmother’s many boxes of linen bequeathed to me over the years. Nearly every holiday gathering Baba’s family would do a distribution. There would be a linen, or a silver, or a china, or a knick-knack distribution. Over the years I have had come up with many one liners when people notice the antiques.
“My family has a hard time throwing things away.”
“My family just likes stuff.”
“You know, us WASPs, can’t resist passing down the opportunity to babysit a museum to our children.”
Children, I am finally taking my head out of my ass and waking up to the full extent of what is means to be a WASP. The terrible horrible extent of all of racist layers in America and what momma’s jokes have been hiding in plain sight. The many layers of white privilege that have been at work in my life and that you two will inherit unless we all dig deep and make this right.
I tried to explain recent events, after my first attempt to explain slavery,* to you two at lunch yesterday.
I looked at you both and said, “it is like our country is a big boat floating in the river with a current. The current is strong and the river is big and we are about to go over the falls so we need to move the river.”
Bean, your eyes were really wide at this point in the story, “How can one person move a river?”
“Oh no, there will need to be a lot of us working together to move the river. We all need to work together to push against the tide.”
The Bean, “Are there are lot of people to help us?”
“Oh my goodness, yes, so many people want to move this river. The problem is that the boat has been floating in the same grove for many years and it is going to take a lot of will power and courage to move the riverbed against the flow of the water.”*
Dragon, you turn to me and pause, “Momma, I can bring my tools. My hammer and my screwdriver.”
“Yes, beloved, we will need so many tools.”
“Like a bulldozer?” Asks the Bean.
“Yes! What other tools do we need?”
“We are going to need a lot of people working hard together and a dump truck and a crane.”
“And my axe!”
There it is children - many people working together are going to move this racist river, and Dragon, I hope without too many axes.
I dearly dearly, truly dearly hope, that when the two of you are old enough to read this and really grok what I am saying that we are not shooting tear gas and rubber bullets at this problem. That we have passed a comprehensive set of reparations to redress the years of slavery and racist policies in this country. I pray and I hope… because it does feel like this boat is heading to a cliff.
* Thank you so much Beverly Daniel Tatum for your insightful teaching in how to talk to young children about slavery.
** As Resmaa says on this awesome podcast, you have to diverge from the status quo in order to create real diversity. I can’t wait to read Resmaa Menakem's My Grandmother’s Hands.
