How do you hold a pencil?

I have been writing for 30+ years and never thought about how I hold a pencil, until now. I hold my pencil like I am about to punch the paper. Like I am about to pull back a shower curtain and stab Janet Leigh. Somehow I managed to be an English Major in college and write a very long dissertation in grad school - all while strangling my pen - thumb tucked under my pointer finger.

According to the handwriting books I am reading in preparation to teach my almost 6 year old, I hold my pencil incorrectly.*

A valid argument could be made in this day of typing that being concerned as to the exact placement of one’s thumb is rather academic and perhaps irrelevant if they words are happening correctly. Most of our writing takes place with screens with pens being used to correct said writing once it has been printed off.

This little rabbit hole is exactly why I am excited to be homeschooling. I find the learning challenging and reflective for both me and for the smalls. I enjoy doing circle time on the weekends with my husband. I enjoy watching my children take charge as they become more confident embracing the world around them - not just as they identify letters and numbers in books - but also stories and experiences that layer from day to day.

Homeschooling is also a step back from a system that I have not questioned until recently. A step back that has caused all sorts of interesting thoughts to bubble to the surface (when I am not reading about handwriting).

I understand this is an extreme distillation but I do feel one way to view our society is as (prepare for some stream of consciousness): parents work for widgets/children are separated from daily adult life so the parents are not distracted as they work for widgets/because all of the food is locked up/few individuals work together for the common good because the necessities of daily life are outsourced to others (like food)/we are feeling disconnected from community because no one feels useful/feeling useless leads to despair, anger, fear/opioid crisis anyone?/on and on.

I don’t know where all of these thoughts are leading me. But I know in my gut they are important thoughts that are important to honor and watch.

Part of the homeschooling decision my husband and I made is the renewed commitment to really focus on homesteading. Yes, we have a permaculture plan for our land. Yes, we planted 30 fruit trees during the first month of my daughter’s life (“Oh you came to visit the new baby, that’s great! Can you help us dig holes and mulch trees?”) But then children happened and priority list was reorganized.

However, as the children get older I can’t think of a better gifts than confidence, self-reliance, empowerment, independence - to trust their own voice. Our vision for our next few years of homeschooling is to grow more of our own food, build a solar dehydrator for drying fruit so I can stop buying raisins from California in the wintertime, see what happens if we grow lentils (threshing, seeding, and winnowing seem like good skills for me to know considering I eat items that require such), grow our own popcorn (we like popcorn), and perhaps a serious greenhouse for growing veggies in the winter.

To both do the work of homesteading and to also engage in the wider world around us - to show our children that there are skills one learns at home and in the wider world - there is worthy work in both spheres. As Andrew Faust told me almost 7 years ago (wowza), “You know, people want to run away and create their little paradise, which is great. But what happens when your well is poisoned from the leachate from the municipal landfill, your air quality is so poor you can’t leave the house some days [which happens to those close to Concentrated Animal Feeding Organizations - aka factory farming, the EPA did a study on it], your weather is so weird that you can no longer plant the crops of your grandparents [see Tabasco], and your animals are stressed from the heat and stop producing enough milk to feed you.”

So, we engage with the world around us and also envision our children writing out plant labels, with the correct finger placement. The Both And of Life.

To feel useful.

To feel part of a wider community and this earth.

Love.

*I hold my chop sticks correctly, so who knows what that is all about.