An Ululation for Quercus Quietude
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Before we slept here, I marked you with tape,
keeping you save from slash of the saw
to honor your grandeur and years of life
- many oaks became eight.
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Letter to my Children: Time Apart
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Dearest Beloveds,
“Momma, can we go and play in the snow?”
Ohhhh, I can barely move. “Of course.” I looked over at your father. “Babe, can you be in charge of getting the children dressed for snowplay?”
“They don’t need help.” A huge grin cracked your father’s face. “They can do it all by themselves.”
Oh Thank GOD. “Mimi is the best. Thank God for grandmothers.”
Just back from my bone marrow transplant, barely able to dress myself, you two being able to dress yourselves to play outside was a huge gift. Gone forever was the hand-holding, the cajoling, the hide-and-seek, the reminders. As I listened - from a different room - to you two getting dressed - I realized I had been coddling you. That was two years ago.
Read MoreHomesteading Middles: The Year of the Caterpillar
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Earlier this month there was a missive from Bean’s school. As the Hudson Valley deals with the deluge of spongy moth caterpillar, small dark caterpillars that can cause skin irritations… students will be kept off blacktops and playgrounds to limit the chances of exposure.
I was flummoxed. Spongy moth caterpillars?* Falling from the sky? Two days later in the soccer fields I continually picked off 1/2 inch long black wiggles from skin, clothing, bag, water bottle, chair, other people’s shirts, etc. They are falling from a clear sky and I am at least 300 yards from the tree line. What in the world?!
And both children broke out in itchy hives wherever one lingered too long on bare skin.
Read MoreHomesteading Middles: Dirty Feet on Chicken Salad = Recycling
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“Momma, are you ready for FULL ATTACK?!”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I am going to go in there and BE VICIOUS!”
“Okay, Dragon, go in there and be vicious - let’s see what happens.”
In November, we planted winter greens in the greenhouse. Hesitant to glean too much, we were very judicious in our harvesting. Suddenly March brought a few days in the 70s and the greenhouse went into overdrive. A good lesson from Mother Nature - gorge while you can.
Read MoreLetter to my children: Fire Fishing and Wood Ticks
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Dragon, you have been dealing with palate expanding to encourage your tiny baby teeth to leave. As a result, there is an entire list of dos and don’ts of food allowances on the fridge. Sometimes your mouth is too sore to even contemplate the oh so finely shaved carrots and apples. You, all on your own, nailed the solution: Fire Fishing with Apples. (Ahem, the official name of course.)
“Momma, what I want to do is to roast an apple in the woodstove to make it soft.”
“Oh, dearest, not inside the house. It is warm enough that we could make a bonfire outside and you could do it there?”
A pause, a contemplative look, a shrug. “Sure.”
Read MoreWhen Did my Whole Life become an Ayahuasca Trip?
/I write that blithely, as if I am drinking plant medicine daily. Not true. But the sentiment holds. (and I like the sentence.)
When I embark upon an evening of ayahuasca, my routine is this. I hold the medicine in my hands and say a prayer.
LET’S DO THIS THING! Thank you for whatever is about to come. I am so grateful.
Read MoreDouble Digits and cultivating Grandmother Energy
/Sitting in the waiting room of our local mechanic, I turned to the apple-cheeked, soft white curled woman sitting next to me.
Let’s see what the Universe wants to tell me about this feeling.
“Can I share something with you?”
“Of course, my dear.”
“My daughter is turning 10 today.” Tears flooded my eyes. “It makes me happy sad.”
Read MoreA Poem for An Amaryllis
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I think I want to write a poem about this plant and how wonderful it was to find it.
“I love this plant right now,” I shared with the Bean.
Before I could finish my thought aloud, the Bean jumped in, “Well, I guess you should marry it then!”
Read MoreLetter to my Children: Parenthood can be Quite Humbling
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Dearest Beloveds,
Parenthood can be quite humbling.*
One of the most confronting parts of being a parent is realizing you are passing down your neuroses/limitations/Cranky Monster baggage to your children.
Many teachers over many years have all taught me the same thing. We are energetic beings in physical bodies. Our energy body/aura surrounds us like a glowing multidimensional egg of vibrational me-ness.
In that aura there can be blockages. Blockages made of past habits, memories, things that trigger us, woundings, fears, etc etc. Rob Wergin likes to call them mud pies. Mucky, dark, heavy glurpy goo that sticks within our aura and blocks energy flow. Meme told me when I was 12 that 4th dimensional creatures live in our auras - called in as helpers when we are afraid or in pain but then they never leave and become a handicap.* Perhaps those two are the same thing.
I spend a great deal of energy and attention cleaning up my personal mudpies - but sometimes I think I splash mud onto you two when I am not thinking.
Read MoreLetter to my Children: Hooray for the Jump Rope
/“Four” Dragon stated.
“Yea, I keep stopping, I don’t know why.” Bean retorted.
“You jumped, but it got caught on the back of your leg… Wait, would you stop? I want to go and grab mine.” Dragon moved towards the stairs.
“Yours is the green one.” Bean called out. “It is like neon green, Dragon.”
“Dragon, I just did five… I almost did six!”
“Hold on Bean, wait till I come back up!”
We purchased the jump ropes in March of 2020.
Read MoreLetter to my Children: Adulting vs Parenting Hat
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Dearest Beloveds,
I switch hats throughout the day from Adulting Corinna to Parenting Corinna and vis-a-versa. Adulting Corinna pays attention and gives time to MY wants, desires, thoughts, responsibilities, and curiosities.
Parenting Corinna pays attention and gives time to YOUR wants, desires, thoughts, responsibilities, and curiosities.
I have found during my almost 10 years as a hat switcher, that life goes more smoothly when I wear only one hat when I am with you two - because, as you may have noticed, your mother only has one head.
Read MoreA Time to Cocoon
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One of the things I adore about meditation retreats are the blunt conversations one has with strangers. For a stint of a weekend/five days/two weeks a group of strangers are thrown together without any historical baggage or expectations of future interactions. It lends itself to very honest conversations.
Like the one I had at the end of our stint in India for the 10,000 Course for World Peace. We were checking in to the hotel in anticipation for our 4 am departure the next morning back our own beds.
“Are you insane? Why did you bring your kids?” Identical badges hung around our necks.
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