On This Miraculous Planet, On Real Food, On Union with all that is
“Momma, each bump holds a surprise!” Bean, gently moved cardboard aside, revealing pale yellow daffodil stems.
“I know, this is so much fun!”
“So much fun!”
She looked up at her brother, tromping toward us over the leaves and cardboard. “Careful Dragon, don’t step on any of the bumps - they might be daffodils pushing their way up.”
Read More“Okay, we are going to do this one more time.”
“NO Momma!!! I want to do this ONE more time!!” Indignation and outrage limned the Bean’s features.
“Did you listen to what I said?”
“Sorry?”
Read More“How long are you here?”
“We are here for four and a half weeks. It is our homeschooling summer break.”
“That is super cool.”
And it was.
Read MoreDearest Beloveds,
If you choose to spend rainy afternoons as adults reading these letters (and maybe my book) from your Momma than you will have gathered by now that I am what is known as a cancer survivor.
I don’t like labels.
That label to me immediately evokes infusion machines, anti-nausea medication, and pit of my stomach fear. “Survivor” is not much better as a label.
Survivor of what? Of life? Of the human experience? You might as well say that every person on this planet is a survivor of one thing or another.
Read MoreDearest Beloveds,
We started giving you two an allowance starting about a year ago to motivate table setting, dishwasher emptying, dog feeding, general chores, and collecting of eggs. This past summer the two of you purchased your first tokens of commerce at CVS.
“Really, you want to spend your money on that?”
“Momma, I love it!”
“You have a closet full of stuffies. It is made out of plastic which is poisoning the earth. It came from China on a big ship that pollutes the air and water. It is going to end up in a landfill and poison the earth more as it decomposes. Are you sure?”
Read MoreDearest Beloveds,
Some of these letters are snapshots of your life and some of them are Momma pontifications. Today is a pontification I have been meaning to address for a bunch of while whiles.
Bean, I understand the reason you push back against writing. Dragon, I understand why you push back against piano. As I have told both of you, at your age I felt the same way. It was difficult because I wasn’t good at it. The only way it gets better is to put the time in every day. One day you will look up and you will be able to write easily and know where the notes are. This is why it is important to practice - which brings me to my time to pontificate.
Read More“Momma! Stop getting distracted! You are supposed to be reading to me!”
“I know, I know, I just need to finish this sentence.” DAMMIT! I hate this fucking feeling. Stop yelling child. I only have one more sentence to write and then I can press send and not think about this anymore!!
“You just said that! You are not coming!! STOP GETTING DISTRACTED!!”
Read More“Dragon, we are running low on kindling.”
“I’m on it Dada!”
Regal with purpose he strode to the side door. “Dragon, aren’t you going to put on slippers, my love?”
“Nah, I’m good.” He grabbed the heavy hammer, pushed open the door, and got to work.
BOOM! BOOM!
Read More“Look at how far down this one went!”
“And this one!”
I walk over to see the proffered charcoal sticks. “Oh wow, that is really burnt.”
Read More“Can we go to the library?”
“Sure. Great idea. Have you read all of the books on the pile?”
“Yup. I am going after books like crazy now. I read books all the time.”
It was only 18 months I wrote about the Bean learning to read. The prodding and the pushing and the cajoling and the soft lips forming individual sounds.
Read More“Why do you need to leave? You always leave!! It is not the same when you are not here.”
“Oh Bean.” I looked at you. Your eyes were wet, lip trembling. “Oh Bean.”
I get it. Momma being gone for 6 weeks almost a year ago is still reverberating for you.
Read MoreThis is my promise to the Universe. As sterile stirrups glean in harsh fluorescent lights, that is my statement. If they can’t take 30 extra seconds to show me how to put a medical instrument into my own body - then no.
No.
NO. I am walking out and finding someone else.
I did not go through the insanity of a bone marrow transplant to keep my mouth shut in this precious life.
Read More
My life vision is to love, be curious, identify my Cranky Monster, and be brave enough to speak from and for The Good.
Click here for more about me.
Powered by Squarespace.
