Farm Beginnings is the chronicle of a city girl starting to farm. Last installment Corinna spoke of clearing the land of trees. Today she speaks to chipping your own mulch.
I learned the difference between “gym fit” and “farm fit” this weekend. I am barely gym fit and I am nowhere near farm fit.
Imagine a pile of twisted laundry - except that it is made out of various logs and twigs, heavy, full of splinters, and 9 feet high and 12 feet wide. Imagine dismantling that pile in order to hoist the heavy wood to a machine that is fearsome in the Fargo sense of the word.
The machine grabs with its dual rotating jaws the edges of 10 inch wide logs, small twigs, or entire cedar trees. The log that we were barely able to manuever is devoured like a teenage boy inhaling a piece of pizza. Oh and make sure to get out of the way - as the log enters the mouth of the machine, it will twist and move, so any branches that are still attached will whack you on the way in if you stand too close.
Let me take a step back and explain this more completely.
I like mulch. It retains moisture in the soil as it decomposes. You can plant potatoes and make a mound of mulch and easily dig them out in a few months.
Mulch also means you don’t have to weed as often. And if you really want to splurge, you can find cocoa shell mulch (perhaps for a herb garden), and your garden will smell like chocolate when it rains.
It struck me as crazy to go out and purchase mulch when we have a huge pile of brush from clearing the land that we could chip and turn into mulch. So I rented a 6 inch wood chipper delivered to the land on Saturday morning, to be picked up on Monday.
Up drives this truck with a yellow machine on the back. The delivery man gets out, takes a look at our small pile of brush in the woods, and a look at the HUGE pile of brush in the middle of the field. “Too bad they didn’t put this small pile on the big pile in the field. That way you could burn all of it.”
“I asked them not to.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to mulch as much as I can.”
“Really?”
“Yes, that is why I ordered the wood chipper.”
(Truth is, as they say, stranger than fiction.)
The bemused gentleman looks with a renewed eye at the smaller pile of brush. “Hmmm, this is the 6 inch chipper. I could run back and get the 12 inch one? That would eat through the pile in no time.”
“Sounds good, and in the meantime we will start laying out the wood.” My husband smiles at me.
Lesson number one from wood chipping, always get the biggest machine you can. Lesson number two, “laying out the wood” is easier said than done.
Writing this, I feel naive but I did not grok how difficult it would be to untangle 12 foot branches and logs, piled willy nilly on top of each other. We tugged, we pulled, we lifted, we strained, we grunted, we heaved, and eventually the pile started to feel more manageable.
I have 32 bruises on my legs from tripping over sticks, falling into the pile as the wood moved, or carrying logs and running into other logs. I am grateful it was cool enough that I had several layers of clothing on, or it may have been much worse.
After laying out the wood, one feeds it into the machine. As I mentioned above this is a loud, fearsome, powerful, intimidating machine that takes the heavy wood and moves it like a piece of cotton fluff. Here is a little sample (watch the volume on your computer).
After two days of this task - here are my conclusions.
The best wood for chips are the actual logs, not the brush/twigs. Therefore there is a diminishing return on labor to feed in the smaller stuff.
Not counting our labor, we spent $600 on the machine (including delivery and fuel) for the weekend. We ended up with perhaps 10-12 cubic yards of mulch. In Rhinebeck, NY the village will deliver to mulch to me for $20 and each cubic yard is $20 - 11 yards at those prices would be $240.
The proffered option of burning the big pile looks more and more attractive after this weekend of doings.
Farm Beginnings is the chronicle of a city girl pulled into farming. Last installment Corinna spoke of the why that brought her to farming. Today she speaks to clearing the land of trees.
“I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees... which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please.” That is how I am feeling this week.
It is difficult to watch majestic sturdy creations crashing down and portioned up. I am disturbing the habitat of birds, furry nocturnal creatures, and the soil - all so I can indulge in my self-sufficient quest and live more in “harmony” with the land. Beautiful bird nests used to swaying 55 feet in the air are catapulted into brush piles.
To this I answer - the trees must be repurposed to good use. That is my pledge to the dryads of the forest.
Dryads, I promise to turn your former oaken homes into floors. Not as dramatic as feeling the sun and moving in the wind, creaking against the bark and striving against the pull of gravity, but at least you will be useful and still on the same land.
(The willowy maidens seem nonplussed...) But what about the pink hued cedars, the clover shaped shaggy barked cousins nearby?
How about closets for the milled large ones and fence posts for the smaller ones?
And the smaller oaks, those too adolescent for flooring?
We can inoculate you with fungus plugs, you will house shitake or oyster mushrooms. That way we can start farming this spring. Those that are too big we will split into logs to keep our new home warm in the winter.
What about the brush that is too small for even mushrooms?
That we shall mulch.
But you have no idea how to use a chainsaw or a wood chipper.
I will learn.
The dryads flit away - perhaps mulch is an unwelcome word to tree nymphs. However to me, mulch is the crux of beginning this farm on the right foot. Every farming conference I have attended lately has been dorking about the importance of soil health.
I envision this series might be a long lived one. I am embarking on a project that to some people on this planet might seem ridiculous (because they are already doing it and they grew up doing it), to some absurd (because they would rather not be doing it), and to some dirty (because, well, there will be dirt). We are starting a farm.
Chronological seems like the best way to start this story. I grew up in a city. Not just any city. I grew up six blocks from the Capitol (OL) Building in Washington DC. My father loved, and still loves, the ability to walk to the corner store for last minute ingredients - so do I. I started taking public transportation home from school, seven miles away, when I was nine years old: bus, metro, bus, walk. School finished by 3:15 and if I was able to time it correctly I would be home by 4:05 (Unless I took the bus all the way home to do my math homework, struggling to hold the pencil still over bouncing potholes. In that case, I would be home by 4:30.)
In other words, I am a city girl. I love cities, I love walking around cities, I love the energy of the cities and the beauty and the smells and the humanity all piled on top of each other, jostling, stretching, striving.
The short answer I am going to borrow from Shannon Brines, of Brines Farm in Ann Arbor. I asked him in December 2009 about his decision to start a farm and my memory tells me his answer was along the line of “time to put my money where my mouth is.”
The long answer is this. I have always been an eater: good food, cooking, being around kitchens, fun ingredients, etc - bring it on. My grandparents had a wonderful home in Massachusetts with lots of plants, grubs, bare feet days, and summer warmth. In 2006, I started rethinking career - do I want to be in charge, do I want to sit at a desk all day, do I want to live and contribute according to what makes my heart sing and my soul flutter, do I want to feel creative and useful? Yes. Do I want to know where my food comes from? Yes.
We started off in Ann Arbor, MI with chickens and a vegetable garden. I love keeping chickens, they smell good (I am not kidding, I like to bury my nose in their warm down - they smell like life), the eggs are amazing, killing them is not too horrible, and they are fun to spy on while dust bathing. Vegetable gardens are an exercise in hope and miracles every year - a connection with the seasons and the adamah (humus) that makes up our adam-ness (human-ness). (Thank you Fred Bahnson at TEDxManhattan 2013).
But there never seemed to be enough room in our tidy back garden. And wouldn’t it be fun to try our hand at goats, or pigs, or growing nut trees, or an orchard?
It was also appealing to be self-sufficient and hone our useful skills, not just continue practicing my consuming skills, but to dive into the nitty gritty homo sapiens survival skills. Finally, there are the niggling doomsday reasons: what if oil goes to $200/barrel and the price of bread goes to $20, etc? When we moved back to the East Coast - this was our chance.
Step #1 - find land. I feel very privileged and lucky to have access to resources that made this a very painless process - some of our land was used for hay, some for a woodlot, and some was just overgrown with poison ivy and pin oaks.
Step #2 - live on the land.
That is where we catch up to the present day. We are in the process of navigating the living part. In order to build a house - we need to clear some trees from the overgrown area. However, I feel a bit like the Lorax - which is what I will address next time.
(Here is a little snippet of who I am - from a few summers ago when I was managing the Westside Farmers Market in Ann Arbor. Hopefully it will make you giggle too.)
I would have loved to have been in the marketing room when they started discussing what in the world they were going to call the liquid that is discharged when soaked nuts are ground in water... Because nut juice, well, really doesn’t work.
Yet, as they probably knew, nut milk is not milk. Milk is “a fluid secreted by the mammary glands of females for the nourishment of their young.”* Nut milk more closely aligns with the idea of a cider, “an unfermented drink made by crushing fruit,” because you grind the nuts and press out the liquid. Nut milk is only milky in that it is white and opaque. Though, for those of us who choose not to drink a tall glass of cow milk, nut milk (unlike cider) does fulfill many of the same functions (coffee companion, cereal splasher, etc) as milk. So we will let the nomenclature nickname stand.
By the time I was a teenager, we had rice milk in the house. One could get soy milk latte’s at Starbucks. In the past 15 years more and more milks have hit the market: almond, hemp, coconut, hazelnut, oat, carob, 7 grain. Eden Organic has a rice AND soymilk beverage. Dream has coconut and almond and chia, rice and quinoa, or almond and cashew and hazelnut. Do you want your milk unsweetened, vanilla, chocolate, low sodium, original? How about a single serving package certified Non-GMO? How about a french vanilla nut creamer for your coffee?
Inspired by all of the options on the market I started feeling the urge to make my own nut milk (exacerbated by a recycling container overflowing with almond milk boxes). The only caveat to this story is you need a Vitamix. But once that is in hand, all you need is your imagination and a little forethought (you need to start the night before).
I have included a few official recipes below from Eagle Loft Kitchen because I am more of the eyeball type of cook.
Grab some raw nuts: brazils, walnuts, cashews, hazelnuts. I haven’t tried peanuts yet, don’t know if the flavor would be too intense. I would love to make almond milk but finding raw almonds can be tricky. As of 2007 all almonds are pasteurized in the US. I have not yet been able to bring myself to order raw almonds from Spain from nuts.com, but I am sure I will eventually.
Soak raw nuts overnight in 4 times more water than nuts.
Rinse them off in the AM till the water runs clear.
Add anywhere from 2 to 4 times more water than nuts to the mixer. (the less water the more the milk becomes a milkshake)
Add nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla, fruit, maple syrup, honey, etc according to taste.
Throw the switch!
I have been pouring the milk off the top of the residue and then throwing the residue into the compost pile. You could strain the liquid if you prefer not to chew on your milk.
Thank you Eagle Loft Kitchen for these ideas as well...
Almond Milk
1 cup raw almonds
4 cups water + more for soaking
2 Medjool dates, pitted
1 tsp vanilla
Soak almonds in enough water to cover for 4 hours or overnight. Then drain and rinse almonds well.
Measure 4 cups fresh water into the Vitamix (using the handy measurements on the side of the pitcher). Add the almonds, dates and vanilla.
Secure the lid and start the Vitamix on low, increasing the speed slowly up to 10 and then flip the high power switch. Process until well blended, 1 minute or more.
Strain the milk through a nut milk bag, or 2-3 layers of cheesecloth in a wire sieve (the nut milk bag is SO much easier), for 30 minutes. Squeeze excess milk out of bag (or gently press residue in sieve) then pour milk into a container with lid (I use a 1 litre/quart mason jar). Store milk in the fridge for up to 5 days. Shake well before serving.
Almond residue (what is left in your nut bag or sieve) can be discarded, but I store mine for a few days in the fridge to use in recipes such as Zucchini Bread. It can also be used as a facial scrub!
Cashew Milk
1 cup raw cashews
4 cups water + more for soaking
1 Tbsp agave syrup
pinch sea salt
Soak cashews in enough water to cover for 4 hours or overnight. Then drain and rinse cashews well.
Measure 4 cups fresh water into the Vitamix (using the handy measurements on the side of the pitcher). Add the cashews, agave and salt.
Secure the lid and start the Vitamix on low, increasing the speed slowly up to 10 and then flip the high power switch. Process until well blended, 1 minute or more.
To decrease foam, turn off high power switch and slowly turn dial lower. A funnel should form in the middle. Decrease speed until funnel almost disappears, then hold at that speed for 15 seconds. Decrease again until funnel almost disappears and hold for another 15 seconds. Slowly decrease speed to 1, then turn off.
Cashew milk does not need straining. Simply pour milk into a container with lid (I use a 1 litre/quart mason jar). Store milk in the fridge for up to 5 days. Shake well before serving.
Rice Milk
1/2 cup cooked brown rice
2 cups water
1/2 Tbsp maple syrup
Measure 2 cups fresh water into the Vitamix (using the handy measurements on the side of the pitcher). Add the rice and maple syrup.
Secure the lid and start the Vitamix on low, increasing the speed slowly up to 10 and then flip the high power switch. Process until well blended, 1 minute or more.
To decrease foam, turn off high power switch and slowly turn dial lower. A funnel should form in the middle. Decrease speed until funnel almost disappears, then hold at that speed for 15 seconds. Decrease again until funnel almost disappears and hold for another 15 seconds. Slowly decrease speed to 1, then turn off.
Rice milk does not need straining. Simply pour milk into a container with lid (I use a 500mL/1 pint mason jar). Store milk in the fridge for up to 4 days. Shake well before serving.
* Never too early to read the words mammary glands.
A Course in Miracles agrees with agrees with A Course in Miracles. Hubristic, perhaps [yes]. Grateful and thrilled - yes. I am on lesson #255 of the workbook for A Course in Miracles:
For many years I have been hearing her name, loving what she is all about, and a I realized recently that I am a groupie. A Vandana Shiva groupie.
Watch her video and you will see for yourself!!
When I went to hear her speak live, I realized that I had never before had someone explain to me better the GMO argument. During the talk she said that giving the patents to the companies who patent seeds is like having a worker walk into a Cathedral with one red brick and then claim that they 1) own the Cathedral 2) own the land the Cathedral sits on and 3) if you copy anything that looks like that Cathedral you own the worker with the red brick a whole lot of moola.
Unlike my last visit to John of God, where I was not present for any physical surgeries - this time I saw several of them (if you want to see videos, there are many available). I saw a woman lean against a wall, the Entity incorporated in Medium Joao bared her breast, did a 3 cm incision, used his hand to pump out blood (which splashed on the floor), stitched her up with a few sutures, and then she was wheeled away to lie down. There was no anesthesia, no Betadine to wash the skin prior to cutting, no gloves... just Blessed Water and the Entity. I could see the blood vessels and the thick skin, I could see ligaments and fat, it was awe-inspiriting.
I saw the woman a few days later in the garden drinking coconut juice from a coconut - right as rain.
A different woman's eyes was scraped with a knife, yet another had a long pair of clamps shoved into her nose and rotated around, a man was cut open much like the woman above - every single one of them stood against a wall with their eyes closed - no yelling, no screaming, no drama. Just standing on a stage with a room full of silent watchers who had just said the Lord's Prayer.
(speaking of which I really prefer the Lord's Prayer that has been translated directly from the Aramaic - as opposed to from the Aramaic to Greek to Latin to Old English to English - thank you Heather for putting this in your book)
[quote]O Cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration. Soften the ground of our being and carve out a space within us where Your presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that we may be empowered to bear the fruit of your mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with our desires.
Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share what each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us, as we release others from the entanglements of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.
For you are the ground and the fruitful vision, the birth, power and fulfillment, as all is gathered and made whole once again.
AMEN[/quote]
In other words, my trip was incredible, amazing, awesome, wiggle making, loverly, and perfect.
The biggest shoe that dropped for me is that Faith is a choice. Just like courage, being cheerful, and not feeding Fear. Faith - choosing to know that a Universal Cosmic Consciousness/God loves us, watches over us, and wants us to be happy - is a choice. And as all choices - the more I practice the better I shall get at this.
The village of Abadiania sits onto of a large rock crystal - the moment I arrive, the whole body feels as though I have just had the best massage ~ and then the Entities start to work and WOWZA. I look forward to integrating what I learned, and I look forward to going back.
Here is the view out our apartment window. From this view I can walk to a stream/waterfall/several ponds, observe the frozen layer of ice with water bubbling beneath it, see tracks of deer (and other creatures), admire the shape of trees, count hundreds of stars, and see the path by moonlight. It is doubtful I will pass another person as I walk along with my dog. There are only several directions and roads to choose.
Here is the view to the view from my sister's apartment window (and yes that is Sear's Tower in the back left). From this view I can walk to power yoga, a multitude of eateries, groceries, malls, shops, the main post office, movie theaters, the lake, and parks. I will pass too many people to count - and if I am walking with my dog on Michigan Ave and a firetruck passes by our dog will stop, sit, and start howling in unison with the siren. There are blocks and blocks of choices and directions to choose.
It is time to see if our frozen eggs can make there own way in the world (as hilarious it is to send off checks for their daycare/nightcare/storage). As such I have been so lucky to be given recommendations from dear friends to talk to people in this world from all over the country (well, left and right coasts).
This is a small snapshot of what I have learned...
The only organization that seems to have ranked the MANY surrogacy agencies/fertility clinics out there is called Men Having Babies. You can check out their ranking on their website: MenHavingBabies.org. (caveat, the organization is based in New York City - so it is fairly NYC centric and they have not ranked everyone). The nice thing about this ranking is that you know the agencies/clinics are all LGBT friendly, which is important.
This was a fascinating lesson in the variation of State Laws - as a native Washingtonian, I didn't know what a Governor did till I was in college. For example, a Gestational Surrogate (GS) in California is not allowed (per her contract) to be in Arizona for the last trimester of her pregnancy - because, if the baby comes early, Arizona will keep the child and not give it to the Intended Parents (IP). In Florida it is illegal to pay someone to be a GS for you, ditto in NY. However - as this Surrogacy Central FAQ states, "Thanks to our United States Constitution, one may travel to any state in the United States and do anything that is legal in that state." I think that is one of the best sentences ever.
The legality arguments about surrogacy are fascinating. A lot of the people who fought the first court battles are still working today. The most striking sentence I found from my readings about how this has moved forward was from the Center for Surrogate Parenting, when talking about laws in CA in 1980: "Existing laws at the time were: ... (2) you can't sell a child - Emancipation Proclamation outlawed slavery in 1863 ... (4) Sperm Donor Act stated if a man produces sperm so that another man's wife can have a child, the donor has no liability and no right to declare the child's father; i.e., the surrogate's husband was deemed the father of any child she carries."
Some agencies have psychologists on staff, some do not.
Some agencies tell you that the GS's insurance will not pay for her pregnancy, some tell you it is not a problem (wonder if that is a question of which state the surrogate is in).
Most agencies want you to pay the retainer upfront before your find the surrogacy - I only spoke to one that did not.
Here is my one snarky learning that I hope perhaps some of the agencies can hear: When a heterosexual married woman is talking to a surrogacy agency it is safe to make the assumption that this is not her first choice of being a mother (unless she is super model and doesn't want to ruin her figure). As such, there is no reason to ask any questions along the lines of: "Why are you and your husband infertile?" Just take the facts (frozen embryos, wants to find a GS) and move on.
On that same vein, I found myself doing some really good cleansing of bottled emotions (that bottle that seems to be neverending). Tears, yelling, walks, meditations, talkings with friends - all good flushings in order for me to hug our future pregnant GS without reservation and throw a kick ass baby shower.
We will write up a vision for how we want this process to go when we are in Brazil with John of God. 5 weeks away!
A whirlwind 7 days in Germany to have an ultrasound with Dr. Herzog, sweat in the sauna, wander around Weihnachtsmarkt/Christmas markets, and meditate with John of God. It was very full and very wonderful - not least of which was the Ultrasound and Herzog's assertion that all is well (confirming what I had gleaned from the PET scan)
I am going to spend a moment reveling in gratitude for that news.
I am grateful for all of the people who supported me so I was able to spend 3 1/2 months in Germany. I am grateful for all of the people who do research in oncology and decide that certain medicines, treatments, dosages, radiation levels, therapeutic agents, cleansing routines, etc are better for me than others. I am grateful for the doctors, the nurses, the techs, the people who cleaned the floors of the clinics and the hospitals where I spent so much time this year. I am grateful for those who cooked for me.
I am grateful for those people who pack the needles, the bags, the saline solutions. I am grateful to those people who donate blood so that I was able to receive infusions and have enough red blood cells to walk up a hill without pausing every 5 feet. I am grateful my doctor here felt comfortable with me heading to Germany. I am grateful that we are once again in the monitoring stage of my physical doings.
I am grateful the gentleman across from me is using a green pen to write on his pad, I am grateful I am heading to a conference on farming for the rest of the week.
I am grateful for the timing of my most recent trip to Germany because Christmas markets are wonderful. I am grateful John of God was there with me.
I am grateful for my family, friends, Universe, friends I haven't met yet, and for the world of amazingness we spent our time floating in.
I am grateful grateful grateful.
Thank you Universe.
(Here is a wonderful poem by ee cummings about the infinite yes for you to peruse, as well.)
[quote]i thank You God for most this amazingday:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
e.e. cummings[/quote]
This poem brings tears - so gorgeous, especially the first two stanzas... "the gay great happening illimitably earth" - awesomesauce.
I took this picture as I flew back to the States from my whirlwind time in Germany as a great example of the great happening earth. On the plane I met a young lad (lad is such a fun word) who had never been to the States before (first time traveling solo as well) and was so nervous! It was such a treat to share with him that life is an adventure and that everything will work out beautifully.
Because it does. I thank you Universe for this most amazing day.
(the other picture was of sunrise that morning as we drove back into Frankfurt from our time with John of God)
A Course in Miracles is adamant about where sickness comes from...(lesson 136)
[quote]Sickness is a decision. It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering. It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishments no more.
How do you think that sickness can succeed from shielding you from truth? Because it proves that the body is not separate from you, and so you must be separate from the truth. You suffer pain because the body does, and in this pain you are made one with it. Thus is your "true" identity preserved, and the strange, haunting thought that you might be something beyond this little pile of dust silenced and stilled. For see, this dust can make you suffer, twist your limbs and stop your heart, commanding you to die and cease to be.
Thus is the body stronger than the truth, which asks you to live, and cannot overcome your choice to die. And so the body is more powerful than everlasting life, Heaven more frail than hell, and God's design for the salvation of His Son opposed by a decision stronger than His Will. His Son is dust, the Father incomplete, and chaos sits in triumph on His throne.[/quote]
In summary, the reason why we, as progeny of God* and therefore God, become sick (and not just sick, but think we need food and water and air and warmth - every precept we have come up with that shores up the needs of the body and makes us focus on our fleshsuits) is to prove to ourselves that our body is more important than God. Our ego is that part of us born in the thought that we are separated from God. The needs of the body are what ego uses to perpetuate itself - as we focus on caring for bodily needs, we are feeding the ego ~ feeding the premise that we are separate from God. So what is the solution? (page 55)
[quote]The only sane solution is not to try to change reality, which is indeed a fearful attempt, but to accept it as it is. You are part of reality which stands unchanged beyond the reach of your ego but within easy reach of spirit. When you are afraid, be still and know that God is real, and you are His beloved Son in whom He is well pleased. Do you let your ego dispute this, because the ego cannot know what is far beyond its reach as you are.
God is not the author of fear. You are. You have chosen to create unlike Him, and therefore made fear for yourself. You are not at peace because you are not fulfilling your function. God gave you a very lofty function that you are not meeting. Your ego has chosen to be afraid instead of meeting it.[/quote]
Okay, ACIM, what therefore is my function? My very lofty function?
This is the part that makes me wiggle (because perhaps you, like me, weren't really wiggling at the beginning of this piece), and here I will summarize (because the book says this often in many places).
Our function is to be happy, to forgive, to love, to express who we are, to rest in the TRUTH that we are God and therefore unassailable and can be ourselves. Our function is to be ourselves, knowing we are a spark of the Divine (and therefore Divine). Our function is to recognize there is no separation between us and our brothers/sisters who are also God. "Do onto others," because we are all the same, there is no other. (lesson 156)
[quote]...ideas leave not their source. If this be true, how can you be apart from God? How could you walk the world alone and separate from your Source?
Truth must be true throughout, if it be true. It cannot contradict itself, nor be in parts uncertain and in others sure. You cannot walk the world apart from God, because you could be without Him. He is what your life is. Where you are He is. There is one life. That life you share with Him. Nothing can be apart from him and life.
The light in you is what the universe longs to belong. All living things are still before you, for they recognize Who walks with you. The light you carry is their own. And thus they see in you their holiness, seeing you as savior and as God.
This is the way salvation works. As you step back [as in "you" the ego "you"- cb], the light in you steps forward and encompasses the world. It heralds not the end of sin in punishment and death. In lightness and in laughter is sin gone, because its quaint absurdity is seen. It is a foolish thought, a silly dream, not frightening, ridiculous perhaps, but who would want to waste an instant in approach to God Himself for such a senseless whim?[/quote]
This reminds me of when I was teaching. My first year I was eaten alive by the students on my classroom management skills because I hadn't yet grokked that a perfectly good answer to a question from a 12 year old is "Because I said so." It was only once I was able to fully embrace my role as an adult and therefore the undisputed winner in any powerplay that fights stopped happening in the class. The kids needed an adult to reign in their more rambunctious tendencies.
The same way I imagine egos - running around, creating problems, fidgeting over this and fidgeting over that - while the infinite patience of God waits for us to realize that we are the adults in the classroom, not the confused children.
So here we have it from A Course in Miracles, "in lightness and laughter is sin gone," which brings me to Abraham (a phalange of entities who come in via Esther Hicks). Abraham tells us (pg 44-45 from Ask and It Is Given_)
[quote]Your emotions indicate the degree of your alignment with Source. Although you can never achieve such a complete misalignment with Source that you disconnect from it altogether, the thoughts that you choose to give your attention to do give you a substantial range in alignment or misalignment with the Non-Physical Energy that is truly who you are. And so, with time and practice, you will come to know, in every moment, your degree of alignment with who you really are, for when you are in full allowance of the Energy of your Source, you thrive, and to the degree that you do not allow this alignment, you do not thrive.
You are empowered Beings; you are utterly free to create_, and when you know that, and are focused on things that are in vibrational harmony with that, you feel absolute joy. But when you think thoughts that are contrary to that truth, you feel the opposite emotions of disempowerment and bondage.
When you think a thought that rings true with who you really are, you feel harmony coursing through your physical body: Joy, love, and a sense of freedom are examples of that alignment. And when you think thoughts that do _not _ring true with who you really are, you feel the disharmony in your physical body. Depression, fear, and feelings of bondage are examples of that misalignment.
...you create by molding Energy. You mold it through your power of focus - by thinking about things, remembering things, and imagining things. You focus the Energy when you speak, when you write, when you listen, when you are silent, when you remember, and when you imagine - you focus it through the projection of thought.[/quote]
Abraham has a lot of tapes and whatnot one can explore where people tap into specific concerns (love, money, weight lose, etc). From my perspective the crux of the whole matter is whether or not I feel happy. If thinking, talking, writing about something makes me upset or sad - it means I am deliberately removing myself from the deluge of happiness from Source.
(This does not of course include crying when one feels the need to cry, or yelling to flush out the emotion so it doesn’t get stored in the cells to bite your grandchildren in the karmic bottom.)
I was accused recently of being in denial and ignoring reality (“walking into walls†was the phrase).
I think it all depends on which reality one is talking about. Do I deny I am a body and this physical realm is our reality? Yes. Do I deny that I am a Daughter of She - that most amazing Cosmic Consciousness that created and loves all of us? Nope. Does that mean I ignore the body? Nope, I send it love - capital L LOVE from the Big Banana - trusting that the Universe is a better bus driver than I am. Love to all of the wonderful parts of it that are working beautifully and trust that the rest will work out.
I am finding the more I focus on the flow of well-being, love, fun, happiness, and joy the more of that I am seeing. The Goddess is surrounding me with her love and therefore I can send that out into my life and the life of others. My "reality" is changing based on what I am focusing on and that is awesomesauce.
My final thinking thought for this morning is this - don't get stuck in the waiting place, you are powerful enough to accomplish your dreams, you are God (as Dr. Seuss says...)
*Spirit/Atman/Cosmic Consciousness/the Big Banana/Source/Essence/etc
Corinna Borden Hill Parker
Corinna, Herself
My life vision is to love, be curious, identify my Cranky Monster, and be brave enough to speak from and for The Good.
