Letter to my children: on catching leaves and turn down services

Dearest Beloveds,

I wanted to take a moment and say thank you for our amazing life. Thank you both for being bright eyed and bushy tailed (thank you Baba), for being curious, for being my hearts - jumping and running and balancing through this amazing life. Thank you both for looking out at the world this month and immediately exclaiming to your sibling, “Let’s go catch leaves!”

"Yes!” A small pause, as you both gaze out at the swirling Autumn. “Momma, can we go catch leaves?!”

“Please do! Go go go go.”

The bright orange, the rust, the carmine, the yellow, the light brown, the dark brown - spinning, skipping, floating, twirling into hands or nets or darting over heads and hands at the last moment as wind shifts. It is such an incredible joy to watch the concentration devoted to the fleeting tango of the season.

Hands upraised, faces to the sky, praying for the leaves to come to you - it is beyond my heart to hold.

When learning about Conscious Discipline, Dr. Becky Bailey talks about the necessity of focussed time with your children - that even 5 minutes a day of I love you rituals/singing/games work to fill their emotional cup so that when there are things they may not want to do (like being strapped into a carseat as a toddler) there are emotional reserves in the bucket.

The two of you chasing color, wind, and beauty fills your Momma’s emotional bucket.

When I start the bathwater, I go into each of your bedrooms. In each room, I pull down the shades, turn on the lamps, pick up some of the most egregious clothing/toys strewn about, pull together your blankets, find your water bottles, make sure they are filled, etc. I didn’t realize until we stayed at the fancy hotel for Baba’s doings your mother is doing the turn-down service.

Paid for by the leaves dancing over braids and noses - a very fair exchange.

I love you both so much.