Dearest Beloveds,

We started giving you two an allowance starting about a year ago to motivate table setting, dishwasher emptying, dog feeding, general chores, and collecting of eggs. This past summer the two of you purchased your first tokens of commerce at CVS.

“Really, you want to spend your money on that?”

“Momma, I love it!”

“You have a closet full of stuffies. It is made out of plastic which is poisoning the earth. It came from China on a big ship that pollutes the air and water. It is going to end up in a landfill and poison the earth more as it decomposes. Are you sure?”