Letter to my Children: Get Ready Man and What the Heck?!

During the last snowday, teetering on the roof of the wood shelter, Bean was stricken with indecision. “Should I jump?”

From the ground Dragon called up to Bean, , “Get ready! Get read-y!!”

“Dragon, stop!”

“The worllld is coming to an end!”

We all started laughing.

Thank you Thurber.

James Thurber - what a national treasure. I can still hear my grandmother’s voice read to me The Night the Bed Fell. Now the whole family gets to parrot The Get-Ready Man from The Car We Had to Push.

Funny is funny no matter if it was written almost 100 years ago.*

Or it was written 6 years ago.

Even though you two are no longer babies - I still love listening to the Pete Seeger children’s radio. One of the songs is by Casper Babypants from their Away We Go! is “Chicken In The Cornbread.”

What a silly song.

Some days driving to school we will just sing it to each other.

And laugh.

“funky flappin’ high up in the sky.”

“chicken in a moon suit starin’ at me, starin’ at me.”

“what the heck, what the heck”

“What in the world does a chicken look like in MOON SUIT!?”

“What the heck!?”

*You know by now - your mother does not like following all of the rules. I have a bit of a … well, shall we say, a wide streak of rebellion.

Sometimes this works for you two - “Sure, you can eat dessert before dinner, why not?” and sometimes it doesn’t.

Recently, you were accompanying me as I refilled some medicine in the florescent lit church of consumerism - CVS. It was the end of the day, and my brain was not fully engaged. “Why don’t you two browse while I wait. Here is some money for you to get a treat.”

The inevitable happened.

I walked towards the exit and saw you two waiting in line to pay.

“Come over here and I will use my card. What did you find?”

Two hands held out carcinogenic sugar and a stuffy encased in plastic. I felt my heart constrict.

“I would prefer you had made better choices. You already have two of these stuffies at home that are just like this. Also, I know you two are tired of me saying this. But you cannot have this candy. It is crap. It is terrible for you and it is terrible for the planet.”

Waves of embarrassment pour off the two of you. “Mom, don’t use that word!”

You are telling me I can’t use a word in a public space. Let’s see about that.

“What, crap? CRAP? You don’t want me to USE THE WORD CRAP? THIS CANDY IS CRAP.”

“Moooommmmm, please!!!”

Okay, enough, Corinna.

If you two remember this incident when you are older. I would like to apologize. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.

That crap incident was most definitely chipping away whatever “loving bonds” (thank you Dr. Becky Bailey) we have tying us together.

Will keep my eye out for more I Love you Rituals to refill the bucket.

The Both/And of this life.