Letter to my children: When Deep Breathing is not Recommended
/Dearest Beloveds, there are times when being the sandwich generation feels more like being a squashed generation. Global warming is that instance. I am being squashed between your grandmother’s disregard for the planet at the same time you two are becoming aware of our planet.
“Corinna, on the counter holder, I want one.”
Okay, what is she talking about? A counter holder? Something that is on a counter? Where are we? New York? DC? Remember, I can’t ask her questions - that blows circuits.
“You would like me to get you something that lives on a counter.”
“Yes, for drinking.”
For drinking? What the hell lived on the counter for drinking?
“There is room in my apartment - and it would taste better.”
Water, she is talking about water. She is talking about that huge gallon of bottled water that lived on the counter in DC.
I looked at Meme. Earnest supplication looked back at me.
“You are asking me to get you a gallon of bottled water because you don’t like the water where you live.”
“Yes! That is it! I want bottled water to drink.”
She is not going to like this.
“I am sorry Momma, no. I refuse to buy you bottled water when the water you have is perfectly wonderful.”
Indignation flared.
“What? Why not?”
“Because single use plastic is a waste of resources. Because bottled water depletes aquifers and affects ecosystems. Because we vote with our wallets. Because there are microplastics in the ocean. Because you have grandchildren. Pick any one of those very good reasons.”
“Corinna, I am 80 years old. Don’t I deserve to drink the water that I want?”
“Nope. Sorry Mom. I refuse to help you.”
Hopefully she will forget this soon.
A few weeks after this conversation with Meme, the sun disappeared.
The sun disappeared - and honestly, your Momma had a hard time not crawling into a closet and putting a blanket over my head. But instead, we had conversations like this.
Driving to soccer practice and hearing word that Dragon’s practice was canceled “because of the air quality.”
Bean, quite rightly piped up, “Why is it safe for me to be outside running - but not safe for Dragon?”
“Ummm, I don’t know. Let us see what happens when we arrive to the field.”
We pulled into the soccer fields. Normally, the wide expanse of green grass glows under an expansive azure sky. This time we opened the doors and immediately noticed the smell of a bonfire. The sky was orange, the air was peasoup yellow, and incredulity darkened the brow of the coach as he quickly sent us home again to hide behind walls and windows.
For the next three days.
We went outside for small bits with masks on - watching the air quality index like hawks - and having conversations like this.
Bean started. “How did the fires start?”
“The lightening struck really dry land because it has not rained enough.”
“Is that because of global warming?”
“Yes, my beloveds.”
How in the world do I apologize for this. I am sorry we are giving you a polluted planet. I am sorry your Momma can’t fix this. I am sorry. I am sorry.
“I know this is scary - but the Earth is bringing this to our attention so we can do something about helping her. We are not helpless and it is not hopeless - just like that book.”
Bean continued, worry etching her forehead. “Could the fires come here from Canada?”
“No darling, there is a huge river in the way. The fire could not jump over the river.”
“Are you sure, can you show me a picture of the river?”
“Of course.”
Dragon piped in. “Do forest fires last all night long?”
“Oh love, they last for days.”
“Can a forest fire go through steel? What if you put a big wall up of steel?”
“I think it would go over the wall because of the heat.”
“What if they made it taller than all of the trees?”
“I don’t think anyone has ever tried that before.”
Deep breathing Corinna - just not outside.
