Letter to my children: Flush out your emotions now

“Okay, you are almost done with your corrections for your quiz. Please write out ostrich 5 times.”

Bean sat, stone faced, arms crossed, body rigid, brow furrowed.

Gosh, darn it, I was hoping to squeeze one more quiz in - ah well.

“Dearest, this is the last spelling quiz of your 3rd grade year. Just five more words. You can do it.”

Derision slide across her continence. She inched her arm forward, pivoting out from her clenched teeth and tight shoulders. Incrementally, she picked up a pencil.

I took a breath, wiggled my toes, and took a sip of water. After scrawling the corrections on the page Bean threw down the pencil, crossed her arms, and resumed staring at the wall.

Thank God for Conscious Discipline.

“Your body is telling me that you are angry. Furious. Seething right now. Would you like to do Fists of Anger to get this energy out of you?” You did not turn your head. “Bean, trust me, you don’t want to be in therapy in your forties and realize anger about a certain subject has been part of your psyche for 35 years. Let’s get this anger out of your system now. I know you are mad at me - let’s flush it out.”

“I hate Fists of Anger!”

“Right I hear that, but right now all of your anger and frustration is going inward and getting stuck in your cells. Please Bean - I am trying to help you. Remember how I told you about your aura and your emotional body? We don’t want your anger to stay there - let us do this to help you discharge.”

“Fine.”

Whew, made it, thank you world.

“Wonderful.”

She scuttled over on her knees and faced the bookshelf. I sat behind and put the clock in front of us.

After about 20 seconds Bean started crying. Then I could hear her holding her breath.

I started cheerleading.

“Come on Bean! SCREAM! Get this out of you, NOW!”

We both started yelling. “ARGHHHHH.”

I have already done my three minutes for today and my arms are tired. Should I keep her doing this for the full three minutes? Blerg. I don’t want to do this anymore.

“Come on Bean! Only 15 seconds left! GET. THIS. OUT!!”

We were both panting at the end.

“You are amazing. I did only two minutes instead of three. Do you want to do the last minute?”

“I can do another minute.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

Our arms pumped furiously over our heads.

“As fast as you can. Stretch those ARMS! Half-way there! Last 10 seconds! GO!”

Panting, we both sat. I felt stunned as the blood moved back into my fingertips. Bean flopped forward over her knees.

“I hate it doing it, but it feels so much better afterwards!”

“I am so proud of you Bean. This is what self-care and awareness is all about.”

Well done my dearest - I am uberproud of you.