Letter to my children: “Give me a bunch of while whiles”

Dearest Beloveds,

About two weeks ago your father and I started noticing this conversation happening. One of us would be washing dishes/feeding the dog/chopping vegetables/putting on socks/etc.

“Momma/Dada! Where are my socks/hat/shoes/big boots/bathing suit/goggles/etc.”

“I will be right there. Give me a second to finish up and I will help you.”

A small pause.

“It has been a second. WHERE are you?!! I can’t hear you moving!”

Oh my gosh. This has been happening often enough that we have taught the meanings of “an expression”, “a figure of speech”, an idiom. Unfortunately, aside from expanding your vocabulary (we hope) the conversation has not changed one bit.

This morning I am standing at the sink with soapy hands and soapy dishes.

“Momma, I need help finding the crayons.”

“Okay, I’m coming.”

I start rinsing off my hands.

“You are NOT coming, I can hear you doing the dishes.”

“Argh, Bean. You are right. I am not coming. I am going to come when I am finished rinsing my hands.”

Apparently idioms do not work on 7 year olds, nor their brothers who like to emulate them.

I need to retrain myself to start saying, “I will be there in a bunch of while whiles”, or “Give me two Happy Birthday songs”, or “I will be there when I finish singing this song”. Then start singing a SLOW song.

This parenting thing, you are teaching me so much. Thank you for being my beloveds!